"Fail" is such a strong word...

Bare with me as I try to fight through my thoughts on this one.....

First- I totally get what this is saying. As a religious person, I know God has my back. He never leaves me and loves me for who I am. I am not, by any means, a perfect person. But, I do try hard to live a good life, full of achievements, big or small; full of happy moments; full of kindness and charity.

With that being said, this quote kinda rubs me the wrong way when it says, "...because I fail him daily." FAIL is such a strong word. It makes it sound like my life, each day, is a failure. Like I haven't done anything right to please God. Yes, I sin every day, but that is part of this life; part of living. It does not make me a failure. 

Am I reading too far into this quote? Probably. I know they were playing off the word "fail" but it's little things like this that can make people have doubts about God. Why believe in something I am going to fail at constantly? Goodness, that sounds impossible.

Life is hard enough without being reminded about failing.... Shouldn't we focus on the positives. I like this simple quote instead:

  

Enough said!

Opt in or Opt Out!

Why does dating have to be so complicated? Sometimes, when I get frustrated and bitter, I wish I could just opt out…but then I don’t want to be alone forever and I want to grow old with someone (so wait, I opt in). But then I get asked out by someone I am not interested in, or by a friend for a friendly date knowing nothing will ever come of it; so then opt out? But what happens when a crush develops on someone and you hope they ask you out soon, which means I have to opt in. And then opt out again because you are tired of the lack of attention by your crush even if you have spent quality time with him. 

Does it have to be this complicated…Probably not! Sometimes I think about arranged marriages- line me up with someone and call it good. I obviously can’t find someone on my own. HOWEVER, that wouldn’t work either… it doesn’t work logically in my confused head. I could easily find some Joe Shmo, and be stuck with him forever just like an arranged marriage. So no go on that idea.

So then why can’t my stars line up with someone else’s stars? Goodness, it seriously is a miracle when two people have mutual liking toward each other.

Remember when.....

Remember when you used to get these notes in class, in the hallways, after school, on the bus, in the mail? Those were the good old days. I absolutely loved getting letters. I would practice all kinds of different ways to fold my letter. The best was when I liked someone and was able to fold it into a heart.

I remember when Thad Crews and I had a thing- to this day I am still not sure what it was. He was the first boy in high school to ever pay attention to me and I was super immature! Anyway, he ALWAYS passed me a note or had someone deliver it. To tell you the truth, they were probably some of the best notes I have ever received. So genuine and real- he never held back to let me know that he liked me. There were times that the letters even came with something special: a sticker, a little piece of candy, or a flower. He made me feel special. It was only for a short time, but those letter sure made me happy.

Don't get me wrong, I do love to text. It makes it easier to send a quick message and still be able to go about my business...but, being able to open up a letter, waiting in anticipation to read what it says is magical. I am not sure if kids still send notes in class or when passing the hallways. A part of me hopes it still happens.  

"Comparison is the DEATH of contentment" (John Powell)

This quote has always been one of my favorites. Think about it... the times that you start comparing yourself to others brings doubt, confusion, sadness, or even pride. In my experience, nothing good has ever come from comparing myself to my sisters, to my friends, to models, or to complete strangers; yet, sadly I still do it. I start hoping for another body type that would be impossible to achieve; or wishing I had money to buy the newest gadget; or desperately wanting to be in a relationship like many of my friends or acquaintances.

When we start to compare ourselves with others, we neglect the good things in our lives. I take for granted the fact that my body is working and healthy. I might not have arms that are completely toned, but I have arms that allow me to hug others, to do pushups, to write this blog post, to paint my new office, etc. Have you ever stopped to think about what it would be like to live without arms? We have to love what we’ve got!

Coveting what others have or do (new phones, traveling all around the world, or living the lavish lifestyle) is flat-out depressing. How can anyone keep up with the Jones’? I thought I was super cool when I bought my $200 Captivate phone almost 2 years ago. I felt like I was the “ish” walking out of the AT&T store. I think maybe a little bit of pride was creeping into my heart… that feeling quickly faded when a few months later a better version of the phone came out. WHAT? How am I supposed to keep up with that? Of course, I repented of my prideful ways and realized that I have what I need. I am blessed with a job (or two) that allows me to live my life with comforts to which half the world doesn’t have access. We cannot lose our grasp on perspective.  Gratitude turns what we have into enough!

As for the relationship part… that’s a complicated topic when it comes down to comparing lives. There are times when I see friends that are happily married, and I yearn for a relationship. I see my single life as dull and stagnant. However, I also see marriages that are failing left and right. At that moment, my single life feels like heaven. What have I learned from this bi-polar thinking? I need to stay in the moment and appreciate the time that I have to grow and learn. And, when/if the time comes for a serious relationship, I will learn to grow and adjust then, too.

“Our experience teaches us that our worth is measured by comparison—against our siblings, classmates, peers, and co-workers… Comparing ourselves to others in order to determine our worth makes as much sense as one TV looking at the others in the store and wishing it were 40 inches (102 cm) instead of 27 (69 cm). It doesn’t make sense, for “which of you by taking thought can add one cubit to his stature” (Matthew 6:27) or one inch to your screen size? The Apostle Paul warned that people “measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12).”  (Adam C. Olson)

Let’s be wise in seeing the good in ourselves and appreciating what we have. Don’t let yourself or others destroy your happiness through comparing… let gratitude turn what you have into enough.

As I am getting older, I feel the pressure to get married (especially in the LDS culture). It's just not that easy. When I was in my early 20s at BYU, I thought I hit the jackpot of single, LDS men. However, I was no where near ready to date seriously, let alone get married. I had a lot growing up to do. I am now one of the many people who left BYU unmarried, which hasn't phased me so much until recently. I am fighting the internal battle of becoming complacent with being single and being overly anxious to get married. It's hard to find the middle ground when I know the next step is marriage, yet I still enjoy the single life.

I like this phrase, "Be someone who makes you happy" because while I am fighting my internal battle, it easy to forget about my self worth. I want to be happy; married or not.

What it comes down to is there is no specific time line that everyone needs to follow. The grass is always greener on the other side... This is my life, and I am happy to be living it.

We need each other!

Every time I see this, my initial reaction is pride in the women! Go WOMEN (my somewhat feminist side comes out). However, the more I think about it, it makes sense that the genders would punctuate the sentence two different ways. Isn't it always a battle between men and women? What gender is better? Can women compete with men? 

Ultimately, what it comes down to is that we need each other! No matter what gender, what color of skin, your socioeconomic status, etc.

What it needs to say is:

Humans, without each other, are nothing.

We are all on the same side, fighting the struggles of life and sharing in each other’s joys!

Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

1Corinthians 11:11 

Service

I have had a burning desire to serve. As the laziness of my days kick in, I usually disregard the urge to find service. Call it what you will, but I think I can find time to lend a hand or two. As this thought keeps creeping into my mind, I read this quote the other day:

Perhaps when we face our Maker, we will not be asked, "How many positions did you hold?" but rather, "How many people did you help?"

This quote definitely struck a chord- YES- how many people, Skye, have you helped lately? Let's face it; I am still in a very selfish time of my life. I focus on my work, I focus on food that will sustain me, I focus on my workouts, I focus on my car (that breaks down all the time), I focus on how much sleep I get, etc. Now, I am not going to ultimately say that I am so self-involved that I don't care about other people or their needs- I mean, working in the Public Health field gives me an advantage in being able to help people. However, I want to go beyond my public service and sincerely help others.  

I think being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints allows me to ponder on this notion quite often. In fact, I just had a lesson about service this past Sunday. Here's the kicker, though: I learn about SERVICE all the time (repetitious lessons are key to learning), but what needs to happen is the ACTION. Where is the action? It's one thing to know about service, but another to actually do it. 

This week, I made a goal to make a positive change in my life. I decided to find service...I mean REALLY find some service. You want to know what's great about making this goal???? I have found numerous opportunities to serve. I get to help out a sister in my ward that needs a place to stay; I get to help clean the church building; I was able to get into contact with a friend that needs a pick-me-up. 

These might not be grandiose opportunities, but they will surely make a difference in my (self-centered) life. Cliché as this sounds, helping others, helps me. Service gives me purpose; gives me a sense of duty. Will I always being willing to serve and overcome my laziness- I hope so! But, I might fall off the wagon. This will be a lifelong goal...kind of like staying healthy or reading the scriptures. I might not always be 100% at achieving my goal, but I can keep trying to improve my life…so when the time comes to answer the question of, "How many people did I help?” I won't be able to give a definite number because there were too many!