You’re mad. Bonkers. Off your head. But I’ll tell you a secret; all the best people are.

- Alice in Wonderland

Friday, October 5, 2012

"Comparison is the DEATH of contentment" (John Powell)


This quote has always been one of my favorites. Think about it... the times that you start comparing yourself to others brings doubt, confusion, sadness, or even pride. In my experience, nothing good has ever come from comparing myself to my sisters, to my friends, to models, or to complete strangers; yet, sadly I still do it. I start hoping for another body type that would be impossible to achieve; or wishing I had money to buy the newest gadget; or desperately wanting to be in a relationship like many of my friends or acquaintances.

When we start to compare ourselves with others, we neglect the good things in our lives. I take for granted the fact that my body is working and healthy. I might not have arms that are completely toned, but I have arms that allow me to hug others, to do pushups, to write this blog post, to paint my new office, etc. Have you ever stopped to think about what it would be like to live without arms? We have to love what we’ve got!

Coveting what others have or do (new phones, traveling all around the world, or living the lavish lifestyle) is flat-out depressing. How can anyone keep up with the Jones’? I thought I was super cool when I bought my $200 Captivate phone almost 2 years ago. I felt like I was the “ish” walking out of the AT&T store. I think maybe a little bit of pride was creeping into my heart… that feeling quickly faded when a few months later a better version of the phone came out. WHAT? How am I supposed to keep up with that? Of course, I repented of my prideful ways and realized that I have what I need. I am blessed with a job (or two) that allows me to live my life with comforts to which half the world doesn’t have access. We cannot lose our grasp on perspective.  Gratitude turns what we have into enough!

As for the relationship part… that’s a complicated topic when it comes down to comparing lives. There are times when I see friends that are happily married, and I yearn for a relationship. I see my single life as dull and stagnant. However, I also see marriages that are failing left and right. At that moment, my single life feels like heaven. What have I learned from this bi-polar thinking? I need to stay in the moment and appreciate the time that I have to grow and learn. And, when/if the time comes for a serious relationship, I will learn to grow and adjust then, too.

“Our experience teaches us that our worth is measured by comparison—against our siblings, classmates, peers, and co-workers… Comparing ourselves to others in order to determine our worth makes as much sense as one TV looking at the others in the store and wishing it were 40 inches (102 cm) instead of 27 (69 cm). It doesn’t make sense, for “which of you by taking thought can add one cubit to his stature” (Matthew 6:27) or one inch to your screen size? The Apostle Paul warned that people “measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12).”  (Adam C. Olson)

Let’s be wise in seeing the good in ourselves and appreciating what we have. Don’t let yourself or others destroy your happiness through comparing… let gratitude turn what you have into enough.